3:05 am

Hello 

What a week it has been! Jacee's grandma died in Pocatello ID so we jumped in the truck and drove out to there. I was sick the whole trip until the last day so it was fairly miserable. It was nice seeing the Grand ma Bette and Mikey and we got a load of rocks for the sweat lodge good lava rock. And now I am home and had to take my wonderful shot and I am up sick again only 1 good day out of 7 this week. I want to switch that and have 6 good days and one kind of rough day. It will happen !!!!!!!

Tuesday

I am finally feeling better. This was a rough week this week with the shot and just physically feeling bad. I found a major water leak under my house on Sunday which had been leaking for several months so here I am still somewhat sick, belly crawling under my house cutting out plumbing. I got it though it was crazy. Thank God I can do that.
On a side note I am finding my self more and more less tolerant with people who do not want to look at themselves and work on their issues and I find myself around more and more people who tend to mock recovery and it just pissess me off. Me getting sober saved my life and probabally my childrens life also and for people I know in recovery to placate that and to joke around about using seems very disrespectful to my efforts and to efforts of the millon or so others in recovery. I say if you want to be sober then be if you don't quit fucking around and go about the business of slowly or quickly killing your self just don't mock my decsions. Ok I feel better now. I guess it is just an occupational hazzard of working with early recovering people.
Real Busy today just wanted vent that out and now back to work !!!!

3rd shot

This third shot kicked my ass. I got really sick right after I took it. I think my blood sugar dropped and  thats what caused some of the problem. I felt terrible all night and most of today I am getting better now. It really scared me because I had never experienced an immediate reaction like that. I called the Be In  Charge nurse That was a joke. Basically ended up just taking a survey and probably help them with their grant data collection and then she told me to drink more water I could of called my wife to hear that and could of skipped the survey. Any way thats over 45  more shots to go. 

Sleeplessness ARGGGGGGGGGGG

Up at 2am again this drives me crazy. I go to sleep well, then at two am, boom, wake up. I am tired. This medicine has me crying at the drop of a hat. I feel like I did when I first got sober when I would cry over not being able to decide what color of socks to wear. I am so easily frustrated and I am snapping at people I need to calm the fuck down. 

All and all this week was a lot better just a little different. My three year old daughter decided that she would take my glasses and put them in a VCR tape case and stick it back on the shelf. I spent 5-6 hours looking for my glasses. Acting like a crazy lunatic, crying, yelling, screaming, cleaned areas of the house that hadn't been cleaned in a while. Thank God for Jacee she methodicly looked calmly for two hours after work and found them I was ready to  go spend another 6-7 hundred dollars to get a new pair.

So it just the little things that are tripping me up and I am sure lack of sleep does not help

Friday I sleep !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Saturday

 Wow This week was totally different. I had no side effects what so ever and actually feel great all day.  I move some rock set up for the sweat did the sweat and felt great all day. I attribute it all to the power of prayer and to God. I do plan on resting  today and tomorrow don' t want to over do it. 

Friday

The second shot was no where near as bad  as the first one. I actually feel good now it was some what rough last night and early this am. But now I feel like I could  run around the block( Not Really ) but I feel good. Lets hope the next 46 go this good. I am looking forward to the sweat. I have a ton of people praying for me If i could get a Muslim and a Buddhist I would have every domination praying for me ( ha ha). I just pray  that every one praying for me  can be blessed with good health and nothing but positive energy in their life.

peace

1 week 47 to go

Well I made it one week. It was a little rough. I had to leave work early a couple days, however all and all not to bad. Went and gave blood to day so they could do a CBC and keep an eye on my platelets. The more I interact with doctors offices and insurance companies I understand why the cost are so high  there are a lot of incompetent people working in that field it is scary. I just took my second shot so that means 46 to go  yea  yea yea. I really feel positive about this I hate the side effects but they will subside soon and it will be ok. 

We are going to sweat tomorrow and I am looking forward to that. I have come to the conculsion that I have to take this one day at a time just like staying sober I could see that if I did not do it that way I could get overwhelmed and get depressed and discouraged. 

The key for me is to stay positive and remember this to shall pass and keep moving forward get up everyday and do one  thing positive and one thing to help another human being and get out of my self.  I'll let ya know how the night went    

Early Morning

It' s Tuesday MArch 4th (GO BARACK) sorry couldn't help it. Woke up pretty sore thank God for the hot tub. Yesterday seemed like it was starting off good. I quickly learned that eating the right food and the right amount of food is very important. I had not eaten to good all weekend. So when I was forced to go to lunch (not really hungry)  until I smelled the food then I ate too much and got sick. frustrating. Thats how we learn. Luckily I have a flexible job and could come home and nap and soon felt some what better. I had several friends call me yesterday to check on how my weekend was that made me feel good. I have a good friend who his doctor told him he needed to start the treatment. That will be three people including myself who will be doing this together.

It never seems to fail that every time I go through some life changing event that God places others who are also going through the same life changing event in to my life. Both times I was divorced God put other men in my life who were also getting divorced and we went through it together. Now I have possibly 5 people at different stages of going through this as a support team. Wow that is really powerful if you think about it.

Well I am off to start my day 6:00am

Thanks to God for allowing me to wake up,  breathe another day, for being sober and for having family and friends in my life today

Made it !

Made it through the weekend still feel pretty rough but not as bad as I thought. I am work and with the exception of a few aches and pain I am ok. Thanks to God for all your help. Thursady will be here again and I do this all over o boy!!!

Two Days out

Friday was some what rough, but no where near where my mind had imagined. I actually woke up this morning feeling really good better that I had felt in a while. Went out to eat with Jacee and Willow drove my old car around and had a good time. I took my reboviran  and it seems to make me feel yuky I am hoping that gets better given that I have to take it two times a day. Any way the unknown is over and I have an idea of what to expect. lots of resting and naps cool I like to take naps. Advice for anyone debating to take the treatment or not?  My advice would be not to read the message boards for hep c support find some you know who has been through it  talk to them. I fought going on this medicine for so long due to the fear of the side effects and one again I let fear rule my life. Thats how I got this disease I has so afraid of life that I hid in a world of IV drug use  trying not to feel and not been in reality I  had so much fear of reality. But When I got sober February 28th 1989 I was amazed that the only thing I had to fear was fear it self to quote  JFK. Same way when I decided to go to college  I was so afraid of college that I would not go when I finally went I thought this is great. I am not saying that taking this medicine is great but I think the end result will be great